I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
