Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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