I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize