I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
