she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
