What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize