He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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