How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
