you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
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Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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