you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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