the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
