And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
