Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
