ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
