I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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