well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
