He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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