You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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