I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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