dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
