I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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