I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
