so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
