he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
