Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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