someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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