they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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