Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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