awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is wine microwaveable?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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