Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize