She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
