I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
