so explain again why im purple
no
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
