Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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