It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
