I just threw up on my dentist
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
