If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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