brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it was like his penis was on wheels.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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