Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
