btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
