please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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