Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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