moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
