girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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