I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.