You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.