Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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