talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.