Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
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Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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