Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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