Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
