Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize