I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
