If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
