I hate all girls vehemently.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
