for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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