So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
