We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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