today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
