roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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