Pappa wants mamma naked
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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