the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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