Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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