i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
