do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
