Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
