Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
