I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my phone needs a breathalizer
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
