I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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