I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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