girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize