Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
