Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize