Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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