I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
